The Way I Feel

If I act the way I do...& they don't like it, leave me...you have the option, a choice, a chance to let go of me.....

So let go!!!!! I hate everytime this starts!!!!

Sometimes I wish I'm totally alone...away from here...from everyone!!!
Death becomes her...!!!
Death becomes me....!!!

Now I look myself in the mirror & I feel I became someone I hate!!!

Feel it's more pain & misery...!! Hurt more!!! Because I care more!

If I had money in the world, I would run away frm here...
And start my life...

Sweet & Happy...

It's a sweet thing that happened & I'm living the happiest moment of my life....

Greatest time of my life


Cilla

I Hurt My Best Friend...

I hurt my best friend yesterday...I made her cry...I was so angry with the things she said, I started to stressed up my voice to her...

All I can say is... Mum, sorry...I didn't mean to do that to you...But I'm matured enough to realize what's best for me...I've changed...& u know that...

I love you more than anything in this world...

Sorry

Cilla

Too Personal...

When things gets too personal in my entry, that is when people started to condemn you in everything were said, & most of them begin to hurt you on the way they elaborate the twisted stories & assume that I'm living a fabulous life...

When I'm happy....people said 'Oh, she forget about her family in KK...it's now all about her life in KL...'
When I'm depressed, stress out & in pain here, 'Oh...you're miserable there, come back here...if u near to ur family, u'll always be happy & safe...nobody is going to hurt u...'

So....what is right for me?! I don't get it....I don't understand...! Why all these things people will just find ways to hurt me?!

I'm tired of people telling me what to do...! Seriously, I'm 29 almost 30! I want to decide my own...! What's best for me...I don't need them to tell me...I just need a simple guidance...

But at the end of the day, I put myself to blame...coz when I wrote something, & it's too personal, people start to 'advice' me things to do...

Ah well....que sera sera, whatever will be, will be....


Cilla