Last nite, I had a dream abt 'A'...the guy from my post The Smile...I dunno why suddenly I dreamt abt him...not in a dirty way...but in a friendly way though...he was one of my best guy fren last time...but our things end coz we could never settle our problems...so the friendship ends just like that...
I think I will continue my story abt him, during college years...when me & A started to grown close to each other, everyone was quite suprised I think...he will drive me back home after class or sometimes send me back to my mum's office...
I didn't ask any of that, but he make it as a routine, & if he unable to send me back, he will inform me earlier...he was so damn nice to me, I don't really know why...but as a girl, who doesn't like that attention??? hahaha :P
He started to 'bond' with me somehow...we talked abt our interests, hobbies, etc...sesi perkenalan lah...& he was suprised that I loved Creed (one of the Alternative Band famous that time), coz he love the band too..I can see his eyes were glowing when he saw me buying Creed's records..& from that moment we share our passion in music...
After a while, we grown so close & seems he always tells me things that he don't share with others kinda make me feel I'm somewhat special to him...Whenever my other guys frens being so overly-friendly to me, he will always quickly ran towards me and ask them to back off...I dunno why, I wonder why...He will whisper to me that he don't like them doing that to me...over protective? some sort of control? jealous? I wasn't sure though...But I didn't care abt his behaviour like that, coz I kinda love that attention *hahaha...don't get me wrong, that's just natural a girl's thing*
One sweet day, there was an announcement saying that there will be Prom Nite for our college, so he came up to me & ask me to join in his band...I wasn't sure I can sing in front of ppl, and he never heard me sang...but he believe that I can do it...I felt so SHY to the core and really so WORRIED SICK that I messed up... The first time we practiced, we went to an empty class room, he brought his guitar along, & we supposed to be randomly just practice few songs...he is a left handed, the guitar he brought was for normal right hand person...what he did was he simply turn the guitar the opposite position & he plays it in his left hand...*Gosh, I could scream that time u know..!! Hahaha...I falled for him bcos of his talent in music...he was so damn hot doing that! He played all the chords backwards, that it what I called total talent...! I loved him & deeply fall for him bcoz of that! *Eeeeeiiissshh, totally feel mcm High School Musical betul nieh...hahahah*
There abt 4 of us in the room, but I was so afraid to sing in front of them, all guys pulak tu! He ask 2 of them to leave the room, and left me, him & another guy, E, whom I had crush with since the beginning...When he strumming on his guitar, my voice just too soft for him, he ask me to sing louder, I can't!! My malu still cannot be overcome..!! So, he ask 'E', to turn off the lights of the room & ask me to sing in the dark...when E turn off the lights, I felt some kind of a romantic setting pulak...*hish, nak muntah tak?* I can sing but he wasn't completely satisfied, so he ask 'E' to go out from the room, I know that 'E' was grinning & the other 2 guys outside were seems to act like monkeys outside the room..but I just don't care...
Left only 2 of us in the dark room, he was sitting right beside me & start strumming the guitar but this time he said, " I give u a key & u sang without my guitar first "...So, he give me a key, I sang softly & suddenly his voice came out & sang with me... :) that was the harmonious sound I've ever heard, just both of us... then slowly he started strumming his guitar again...& everything was history...!!! We started regularly practice Jamming every week, & that makes us grew more comfortable to each other...until...his girlfriend, a chinese girl, seems to give me a rolling eyes whenever he ask me to join them for drinks or lepak...I avoid following him, coz his time was already taken during our Jamming...I dun wanna be the "Tiang Lampu" if they go out together, but he always seems to insist...His gf did approach me & ask me what me & him usually do when we go for Jamming..I said, "practising lah"...but she seems not to believe it...I was feeling unsecure abt all this & I just wish this thing just go away coz I dun want to make their relationship in trouble bcoz of me spending time with him all the time..I thought abt leaving the group & after a while, I decided to confront with him..."I'm leaving, I don't want to be in ur group anymore...sorry but I think I cannot do this...", I walked away...he didn't say anything, stood there, kept quiet & just looking at me...that very same day, one of his ex-gf's (b4 he's with this chinese girl), confronted me, (this girl is very sweet malay girl,so there's no need for me to be harsh with her), ask me, but in a polite way lah, "U join band 'A' kah? I always so u & him going out together alot...u guys seems so close to each other lah....after Jam, where do u guys go usually...going back or go somewhere else..?"... *It's none of your business!!!!! Itu kata hati, but I didn't say that to her...hehe*.. I was getting more fed up with all of his krazey gf & ex-gf asking me this & that as if I was the one that pulling this guy away from them, to be with me...I never ask any of his attention...& why he ask me to join his group also I never know why... But I told his ex-gf that I am no more in his group, I leave...& I didn't say anything to "A" anymore since then...
Few days passed, "A" ponteng our Accounting class...I didn't see him, but somehow I find myself being 'empty'...I tried to concentrate in my class too until during break, "A" give a note/letter to "E", asking him to pass it to me, he wrote, "Meet me outside, now...we need to talk"... I hesitate at first, but "E" said, "He's not doing so good...u better go & see him.."
So I walked out from the class & meet him outside, he was sitting at the same bench he first approached me, his face was so gloomy, I sit next to him..I ask him if he have anything say...he kept numb for a while & suddenly says, " I know u have been 'harrassed' by my gf & ex-gf, but please stay with me in our group, we supposed to perform in less than 2 weeks so please..dun let them make u change ur mind, look how far we already gone thru..."...
I know that I would waste our practices & waste our times if we end it...so I decided to go on...after I said that, his face started to glow again, happy...suddenly he held my hands tightly, telling me, " I know they harassing bcoz they where wondering why I enjoy spending time with you..more than I spend time with them..." He smiled & look at me, " You're more special than they are...", I was like, fainting in my brain...that is sweet but I dunno what exactly u r trying to say...guys are just plain mysterious & weird lah...I wasn't sure what are my relation with him...uurrghhh! :) He continued.."if they try to harrass you again, let me know please...so that I can confront & explain to them again..." & with that everything is history....!!!
We practice, perform & being great friend for each other, and my feelings for him was in between of love & friendship...I fall for his talent in music...and he was my best friend....he makes me feel appreciated, he always do & he always tells me that I am special, in what way...I never know...it's more than enough when he told me that I am somewhat meaningful for him...
Until we went our separated ways, still good though, I didn't feel that I lose him coz I remember what he said...
But dunno why we suddenly meet up in KL again to continue studies...that was where it took my heart out the most...next episode ~~Love, Friendship & Betrayal...*will be continued* This is where my heart taken away & history created...My love history, friendship mend & broken because of a guy...it begins here...~~
Don't Speak
(This song meant something for me & him, ever since I knew him, my life seems to be revolve in music)
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