Songs of Our Lives...

Since the beginning, from my earliest childhood fond memories...I love music...I love songs...& ultimately I found my so called talent...singing & playing music (literally lah..hehe)

My hero (my late dad)...enrolled me to play organs...which actually I was more keen on playing the piano or guitar...well, I was just a mere 6 yrs old little girl whom dreams so high to become 'somebody' in this life...more like, finding the purpose of my life...

I'm not sure why, but deep down since I was a little girl, I was pretty damn sure I'm going to be a superstar...playing music in front of people...entertaining people in music industry...well that thing didn't actually came true...look where I am now...working in the banking & finance industry which really took my exciting life for almost 7yrs now...damn that is long! It feels just like in a long term relationship...but what's the best thing came out of it? I look at myself...What did I accomplished? Have I found the IT of my life...?

7 yrs ago, when I got my job, I was like so proud of myself..working in a bank! Yeay! Big $$! Security! Excitement! Fun! Arrogant! Selfish! Too Proud...now here I am, feeling rather hopeless...someone ask me about my pay..."How's your pay at the moment? It must be at least RM*K...right? That's great!"

How I wish they knew...money is not everything...I must say I have pretty okay life after my upside twirl & twisted life for about 5 - 6 yrs ago...where debt here & there....unmanageable finance & stretched budget...

If I see where I am now...yes, there is good coming out of it...but there is a price to pay...I lost my Dad, I lost my best friend, I lost trust, I lost a lot of things...but most of all, I lose my faith...I felt lost in believing in myself...

How am I going to stand up again...after the bumps & confusing windy road I have took? Can I have the great life I used to have again? I want to fight for my happiness & believing in myself again...have faith in God more...

I'm not someone whom can be strong to face the obstacles I face down the road...I always need constant guidance...but not the bossy, bully or whining kind of way...I need a proper suitable guidance...

How I wish I could get it back....

I know there's gotta be more to this life I'm in...How am I going to find it...? What I should do...? I'm going on my 30s...& I don't think this life is enough for me...I want to do something that kept me going...something I passionate about & not the ones I'm settling right now...not the thing I content or comforting for me...I need more, I want more to this life...



Stacie Orrico (There's Gotta Be) More To Life

Yea, yea
Oh ohh, yeaaa

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
I'm wanting more.....

I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more to life...

Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more to life....life..
ohh...more to life..life..theres gotta be more to life...
ohh...more to life....theres gotta be more to life...ohhh





P/S: I wish I could find it...I know God has other plans for me...not this...