Being True To One Self Or...Hypocrite...

I have seen in my daily life routine there are lots of ppl out there living in lie...denying their real behaviour & judging other ppl instead...huhuhu...these type of ppl really pissing my heads off really! Short term, being a hypocrite...!

What I really sadden by is that...someone that you trust, have been acting so strange & have treated you coldly as if you have done something wrong...but in front of ppl, shown to me as if everything's normal....weird huh? How could you live with that? Being hypocrite just to satisfy the 'public'...? But the truth is, you don't treat me normally anymore...and I just can't understand why....Ppl say that there's no problem that cannot be solved...But the problem is, I couldn't find 'the problem', how to solve it??? You leave me with a stupid question mark in my head here!

All you think of is how you feel! You just don't care what I feel about you! Or how others have been telling me things that I dun wanna hear about you! Sometimes I wonder, have you ever TRY to understand my position? And will you ever feel my shoes??? Don't you have any empathy at all?

I have been trying to make everyone's life more happier but in fact, I'm suffering inside & this burden my mind off...

I'm happy if you are happy....I am not a SELFISH type of person like you! And I just dunno why I always end up good relations with this troubled, stubborn ppl that really make my mind goes bezerk!

And you know what? I just couldn't care more or care less about how you feel already...You just do anything that suit your best interest...I just dun wanna be bothered by you anymore...

I've done my best...but perhaps my best wasn't good enough for you...Is that how you treat your other friends?

As a friend, I am being true to myself when I say I care for you as a friend & probably you don't like my behaviour now...well, at least I am not a hypocrite...just like how you acted to others or how I can see others being hypocrite to you...

I don't laugh at your saddist life, but I pity you...coz you are good person, it's just that, you don't appreciate good frens in life...great company...

You are just being pathetic!

I'm sorry if you are burning right now with these words I wrote here...I am not perfect, but at least I am keeping my true colors & shine to other ppl...& at the same time, I am happy for who I am...


Hypocrites are politics!

Don't Say You Love Me...

I think I've fallen head over heels for him...I gotta to admit it now...it's not just a normal crush but it is something deeper than that...

I can't stop thinking about him, he's perfect in every way...but I just don't want to do this...arrgghh!!! Stop Cilla! Stop! He's not meant for you...You can't be with him...Face the fact...though he's just super duper sweet & nice to you, it won't go anywhere...Yeah I know, I just want to throw my feelings out...

I heard this song, I feel so down in hearing it...why? Hmmmm...only God knows how I truly feel...I can't explain this feeling already...

**Huuuu....I need my mum advice's in this dilemma...Sure mum will laugh her heads out seeing her daughter like this...huuuu... ** geteks & gedikkss & gatallss... ;-P




Lyrics & Music By: The Corrs, Carole Bayer Sager

I've seen this place a thousand times
I've felt this all before
And every time you call
I've waited there as though you might not call at all

I know this face I'm wearing now
I've seen this in my eyes
And though it feels so great, I'm still afraid
That you'll be leaving anytime

We've done this once and then you closed the door
Don't let me fall again for nothing more

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away

I've caught myself smiling alone
Just thinking of your voice
And dreaming of your touch, is all too much
You know I don't have any choice

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
Yeah Yeah Yeah

We've done this once and then you closed the door
Don't let me fall again for nothing more

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away

Say you love me
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
Take it all away, take it all away

The Goal...My Ultimate...

Hmmm....I wonder if I could ever achieve this? Lots of ppl have made a bet to me, they want to see me wearing this...It's always an ultimate challenge which is not easy for me to achieve...urrghh!

I know somehow frens & family wanted to motivate me to lose weight, so they have done & advice me lots of things to push me but seems it doesn't work out coz I myself didn't push myself enough...well it's true everyone said, the drive is in you...yourself...but like, how? Maybe this might help me...

When I look through at these lovely designs, it really make me feel wanting to fit in these lovely dresses...

Hmmm....I hope I don't just dream about it...I want to make it happen...I still have time...hehehe... **escapism?** No...try lah Cilla, make it as a challenge...okay? ;-)

Nice one right here...My ultimate fav! Look elegant & sexy in its on way... ;-)



Below here, this one also captured my eyes...not sure whether this dresses matches my body type coz, it shown here these dresses would look lovely with Apple Shape Body...hmmm...we'll see... ;-)

This watermelon color dress also looks so fabulously gorgeous, sweet & simple strapless dress...look so innocent...*ermm...Not a girl, not yet a woman type lah... hehehe *

This one right here, is more of a graduation type of dress, a girly type of dress...which look so naive, soft kind of person...I'm more of a brutal girl...so this dress may 'femininise' me...& I could embrace my womanhood better lah sort of... hehehehehe... yalah tu... ;-P

As a conclusion, may these dresses motivate me to achieve my target to wear Size 7 dress by November...hmmm seems so far lagi...but..if I don't start early, there will be lots of excuses lah to postpone...so better take baby step to go further... ;-)

29 dresses

Don't Stop Believing...

Don't Stop Believing - Glee

Just a small town girl
livin´ in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin´ anywhere
Just a city boy born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train goin´ anywhere

A singer in a smoky room
The smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the nights
Streetlights people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the nights

Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin´ anything to roll the dice
Just one more time

Some will win some will lose
Some are born to sing the blues
And now the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the nights
Streetlights people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the nights

Don´t stop believin
Hold on to that feelin´
Streetlight people
(repeat)

Don´t stop!


I love Glee so much...I enjoyed it more than HSM...& this song somehow uplifting my spirit high in motivating oneself to go far...& believing in urself that's gotta be more to life than what you have now...

So never stop believing...don't give up easily...



Believin'

Suddenly I Remember You...

I heard this song during AJL, I fell in love with this song instantly...it really touch my soul, the music really captured the essence...

"Pergi..." is not an easy word to say but easy to play with...
When we're angry, we tend to say hurtful words to our loved ones, but we never really meant it & we were emotional filled with anger & suddenly we realise, we dun wanna say that...

I want to say this, I'm sorry to say that 'word' to you...I shouldn't have said things I dun mean to say...you know how I really feel dear...always.... ;-)



Pergi - Aizat

Sayu terpisah
hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
berhembus angin rindu
begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu

hujan lebat mencurah kini
bagaikan tiada henti
kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
tak lagi kudengari

kau pergi.. pergi..
sepi tanpa kata
terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau kulupa
apa pun kata mereka
biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia

hujan lebat mencurah kini
bagaikan tiada henti
kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
tak lagi kudengari

kau pergi.. pergi..

hujan lebat mencurah kini
bagaikan tiada henti
kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
tak lagi kudengari

kau pergi.. pergi..
kau pergi.. pergi..
kau pergi.. pergi..



Dun want you to go

Need You Now...

A fren dedicated this song to me (dunno if he meant it or not...dun care lah!)...
I 1st heard this song when Taylor Swift sings it...but I think I prefer the original singer, Lady Antebellum better...

Okay, ermm...this song is great, my fren whom gives this song too is great...what more can I say? Enjoy this song as much as I enjoy it...!
Thanks for dedicating this song to me dear....muahh! :P



Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.


Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.


It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk,
And I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.

P/S : I love this song...coz you know i need you now... ;-p

Cari Jodoh...

Hahahaha...this song Kak Ajie dedicated to me, coz I was so girlishly told her I want to find someone in my life...Finding love in my life...and jokingly she dedicated this song to me...

I was chit chatting with a fren & I was asking him what song does he enjoy at the moment...& coincidently he said the same song...! Hahahaha!! Funny! Funny! I dunno it was the same song until I uploaded it in Youtube...

Okay fren, since this song dedicated to me & you as well (dunno why ur fren also want to dedicate this song to you, I mean....tak suitable at all lah hahah! ;P)

Enjoy this song ya ppl...

Aku mau cari jodoh!! Hahahahahaha...! Usia saya sudah makin lanjut...bila lagi mau kahwin??? :P



Apa salahku apa salah ibuku
Hidupku dirundung pilu
Tak ada yang mau dan menginginkan aku
Tuk jadi pengobat pilu
Tuk jadi penawar rindu
Tuk jadi kekasih hatiku

*
Timur ke barat selatan ke utara
Tak juga aku berjumpa
Dari musim duren hingga musim rambutan
Tak kunjung aku dapatkan
Tak jua aku temukan
Oh tuhan inikah cobaan

**
Ibu-ibu bapak-bapak
Siapa yang punya anak
Bilang aku aku yang tengah malu
Sama teman-temanku
Karna cuma diriku yang tak laku-laku

***
Pengumuman-pengumuman
Siapa yang mau bantu
Tolong aku kasihani aku
Tolong carikan diriku kekasih hatiku
Siapa yang mau

Back to *, **, ***

Ibu bapak punya anak
Bilang-bilang aku aku yang tengah malu
Sama teman-temanku
Karna cuma diriku yang tak laku-laku

Back to ***