My Life...My Journey...

These few days spending time with my family...esp my parents...I lived a very calm & peaceful time...though with babysitting Baby Echa is very tiring & I constantly got migrain & all (seriously taking care a baby is damn difficult, I just wonder what if I have my own children...huuuu scary! ;p but exciting scary...) other than that, I'm all good here...

I wanted a calm life..wanted to be far from trouble...I know in life if we don't experience any bumps on the road...that wouldn't be called life isn't it? What I meant is to be far away from the same old trouble that kept bothering me for years...I just want a different kind of life...where I can smile, be happy, do things I like, enjoying my spare times with my old frens again...& my family...

I enjoy my own quiet little time & space...being far from my family...I want my own time...I don't like to be watched or been stopped to do anything that I want...Because of these, I'm not sure if moving back permanently to my hometown would be an easy transition for me...coz I know it would be hard for me...but I think it will make everyone happy...especially my parents...I know some ppl asked me whether this is what I want or what other ppl want...

For me, I do things that will make everyone around me happy...I don't usually make a decision that really makes me or myself happy...coz I am more happier when seeing people that I loved & cared about are the ones happier than me...coz I could sincerely smile & really feel the greatest when I saw them happy, smiling & laughing...call me stupid or people pleaser...but this is me...my personality... nothing can change that... ;)

I've been taking care of Baby Echa & it's really killing my patience (at the same time, I learn to be patient to babies)...but I feel so glad when I saw Echa's smile & understand what I say to her...sometimes I feel so emo jugak when she started to cry...coz I just melt away everytime hearing her crying...huhuhu...motherly instinct..? Maybe coz I really wanted a baby right now...hahaha...I think lots of ppl know abt it already...hmmm... ;)

There's a mix feeling that fills in my heart & mind...couldn't describe it really in depth...but here, everytime b4 I go to bed, I've actively pray for myself to find true happiness & for God to show me the right path for me, coz I couldn't find my own way without God's guidance for me...somehow, I felt lost sense of direction in my life...I know what could make me happy but most of d time, I feel so down...not bcoz of my ownslef..but some ppl in my life caused me to be unhappy & I let them ruin my life...I know I shouldn't be doing blaming other ppl coz I choose my own life..that's why I need God's light to show me the right path for me... ;)

God Bless Me...My life, my family, my dear frens...


**At this moment, I honestly can say that I missed some of my close frens in KL, somehow, thinking of them makes me so warm inside knowing they're thinking of me too...it's gonna be hard to be far from my KL life..butI must try...**


Transition