Tercipta Untukku...

I love this song... ;-)

Enjoy!





Tercipta Untukku by Ungu

Menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
Membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
Mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
Saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

Banyak kata
Yang tak mampu kuungkapkan
Kepada dirimu

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu

What A Great Weekend...

It's been quite awhile since I last updated my blog...

Since last Friday, doctor have confirmed that my dad diagnosed with Colon Cancer Staged 2...Deep in my heart, I felt 'hurt'...I wonder why these things happen to my family? My dad was just recovering from his small Stroke last December 08...and now this...Sometimes I wonder whether God hear my 'cry' to look after my parents... This is just another test from Him... I pray that my Dad will be strong to face this & we are all here for him....Love you Dad... ;'(

My mind wonders to my family in KK...and I know how badly my mum needs my emotional support...she calls me every day,every time there's a doctor consult my Dad in the hospital... I am trying my best to be strong & I can't stop thinking about them... I cried on my own sweet alone time across the hall of my office...

Calming myself & motivating myself to face this...praying to God more...

To avoid from me thinking abt my Dad's condition, I stayed at a friend's house... To cheer me up, she really knows how...brought me to Uptown Danau Kota...was pretty damn marvellous...I like...we share stories, food...xoxo... **Sweet Memories Indeed**

I went to a good fren house for 2 party organised by her... it was fantastic! Food's nice! Crowd okay... It's a way to clear my mind of things...But I was burdened with my migrain...terrible one..and I feel so tired...(yelah dah 'bibik' sehari...hehe)...I sleep early that night... But honestly, I really had spend a great time with her... :)

I was away from home for 3 nights... Huhuhu... ;-)

God Bless My Dad...to be strong...his operation will be on the 1st Feb...Pray for my Dad's health....


Little Child's Prayer

Dilema Cinta By Ungu...

Lately, I've heard few songs from Ungu...I feel in love to most of their songs...

Dunno why...

I seldom hear Malay songs...but Indon songs now are really connecting to my heart lately...great sounds, deep lyrics... I lurveee it...

Watch more YouTube videos on AOL Video

This is one of my favourite;

Dilemma Cinta - Ungu

Seberapa Salahkah Diriku
Hingga Kau Sakiti aku Begitu Menusukku
Inikah Caramu Membalas
aku Yang Selalu Ada Saat Kau Terluka

Seberapa Hinanya Diriku
Hingga Kau Ludahi Semua Yang ku Beri Untukmu
Tak Ada Satu Pun Perasaan
Yang Mampu Membuatku Begitu Terluka

Namun ku Terlanjur MenCintai Dirimu
Terlambat Bagiku Pergi Darimu
Bagiku Terlalu Indah Perasaan itu
Tak Mudah Untukku Menjauh Darimu

Telah ku Coba Segala Cara
Tuk Bahagiakan Kamu
Merebut Hatimu
Namun Tak Semudah Yang ku Bayangkan
Bila Kau Tak Inginkan ku Tuk Di Sisimu

Tak Pernah Kurasakan Sebelumnya
Menginginkan Dirinya Hingga ku Tak Kuasa
Meyakini Hatiku Bahwa ku Mampu Berlalu

Namun ku Terlanjur MenCintai Dirimu
Terlambat Bagiku Pergi Darimu
Bagiku Terlalu Indah Perasaan itu
Tak Mudah Untukku Menjauh Darimu

Cinta Ini Membunuhku....

I know this song meant something for a friend of mine...

Enjoy ya! **Susah tau nak cari this song...hahaha!** ;-p

Cinta sepatutnya sesuatu yg indah & best...but kadang2 cinta juga buat kita sengsara...hmmm...hanya orang yg pernah dilukai memahaminya...kan kan kan?





Cinta Ini Membunuhku by D'Massive

kau membuat ku berantakan
kau membuat ku tak karuan
kau membuat ku tak berdaya
kau menolakku acuhkan diriku

bagaimana caranya untuk
meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
ku sadari ku tak sempurna
ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan

reff:
kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu
tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
cinta ini membunuhku

bagaimana caranya untuk
meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
ku sadari ku tak sempurna
ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan

back to reff

lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
cinta ini membunuhku

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi...

This post nothing to do with my life...is just that I happen to hear it on the radio & a friend of mine sings this song during our ride in the city...

Just lovely music & tune...& kinda sad song...deep...

For my friend...this is for you... ;-)

Watch more YouTube videos on AOL Video

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi by Anang

separuh jiwaku pergi
memang indah semua
tapi berakhir luka
kau main hati
dengan sadarmu
kau tinggal aku

Reff:
benar ku mencintaimu
tapi tak begini
kau khianati hati ini
kau curangi aku
[2x]

kau bilang tak pernah bahagia
selama dengan aku
itu ucap bibirmu

kau dustakan semua
yang kita bina
kau hancurkan semua

repeat reff [2x]

benar ku mencintaimu

The News That Got Me...

I'm praying that everything will be okay...

I wish that God will give me & my family strength to face this...
And I hope God is listening...

Guide us to go thru this phase...
My heart is crying, my soul are weak...

'Carry' us & our burden....
Be with us...



Your daughter

Accidentally terkena 'Tag' by Zaza!! Ces... ;-p

Hahaha....! Tertagged by Zaza...Ok, here goes my Current Obsession... ;-)

D Instructions from Zaza: Answer the Current Obsession category and then explain WHY you chose that response.

Book: I don't read...But if I do, I read Twilight saga books...

Snack: I don't snack...If I do, I enjoy eating pisang goreng or kuih2 normally people eat during tea time... ;-)

Restaurant: Vin Lap...hahaha...Chinese Restaurant at my hometown...it's like heaven of Chinese cuisine...quite cheap & most delicious!!! Nyum nyum! ;-)

Beverage: Everything that comes from Tea...I loike...! Tea C ping, Ice Lemon Tea, Vanilla Tea Latte, Teh Tarik, Tea O...pendek kata...semua tea...! ;p

Actor: Hmmm...at the mo, actor that could make me drool definitely gonna be Taylor Lautner smokin' hot
body in New Moon... He's just too hot! See for yourself... Lots of my cousin said his face is typical dusun guy punya face but for me his body is wonderland!!!! Woohooo!! Hahahahaha....getekssss.... ;-) But in terms of acting skills, it's gotta be Johnny Depp...he's very talented... his performance is always a memorable one...just like his witty character in Pirates of Carribean as Captain Jack Sparrow...

Actress: Megan Fox...I adore & admire her body!!(coz she's just too hot! in Transformers & Jennifer's Body...hehe ;-) )

How I wish I could have a great body like hers!! **I wish!** ;p

Movie: The Twilight Saga (Yeah yeah...lame kan? Lovey dovey story...but I loikee!)

TV show: current obsession of a TV show? Hmm..I can watch repeated The Nanny & Friends over & over & over again...I can never bored with it! Both are old TV shows but it never stop me enjoying it all the time...always makes me laugh my a** out!

Hobby: Gymming & Singing & Dance! Ask anyone who knows me...they know what I mean...

Band: Wow..ermm last time it was Nirvana but now...Among all the bands, I love Evanescence more...their songs are 'beautiful' & sounds kinda gospel alternative & indie...there's a mixture of everything...and deep lyrics...

Song: Aiyo...alot! But I think now...I'm kinda obsessed with the Lady Gaga phenomenon...haha! I keep playing her songs in my Ipod...especially The Love Game (previously it was called Disco Stick and somehow they changed the title coz of the explicit meaning! Duh! ) Oh oh...and not forgetting Wonder girl - Nobody! Catchy song!! Haha... ;-)

Meme: I dunno what this mean... Zaza, explain pls...hahahaha! ;p

Blog: My own blog...haha! It's gotta be my listed blog la..off course... ;)

Lover: Wooo...this is a tough Q! Well, my-ex.. Hmmm... ;-)

Friend: My current friend whom I obsessed?? All of my close frenss at the moment lah off course...*no best2 fren lagik* ahahahaha...nanti bias... ;-)

Quote: You'll Never Walk Alone...**I like this quote so much, because I know I'll never be alone as God is near... ;-) ** and also because this quote is from Liverpool tagline...my fav football team last time... ;-)

Peeve: Dunno...no idea... ;-)

Sport: Gymming...well what else? ;p

Singer: It's gotta be Nicole Scherzinger...PCD lead singer! Hawt babe! And sings good...She got the whole package!

P/S : This is the consequences when you accidentally read other people's blog...terkena tagged...hehehe.... enjoy my answers ya! ;p

Tagged by zaza

Nobody - Wonder Girl

I like this song so much....very very catchy tune...!

Cute song! Hahaha.. Enjoy!




And I only know how to sing the first 2 lines of lyrics of the song...hahaha! I can't memorise it ler...!


Nobody! Nobody!

I Look To You...

When I first hear this song...it really help me alot to think about God...how we can be strong with Him...and I definitely can relate to the importance of some people in my life that I can think of them whenever I hear this song...my loving, wonderful & very supportive parents that I love to bits, my gorgeous brother, & my great frenss...whom around me (u guys know who u r)...

I wanna dedicate this song to you all;-



I Look To You

As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
Im lost without a cause
After giving it my all

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to

I look to you
I look to you

After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you

Yeah

And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song
I look to you

After losing my breath
There's no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door

And every road that I've taken
Lead to my regret
And I don't know if Im gonna make it
Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you
I look to you

Yeah

And when all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you

Oh yeah

And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song

I look to you
(my levies have broken, my walls have come)

Coming down on me
(crumbling down on me)

All the rain is falling
(the rain is falling, defeat is calling)

Set me free
(i need you to set me free)

Take me far away from the battle
I need you
Shine on me

I look to you
I look to you

After all my strength has gone
in you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you

and when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song

I look to you

yeah

I look to you
oooooooh
I look to you



I pray to you...May God Bless You & Be with you...


xoxo
Cilla

It's A Reminder...

I gotta meet a friend of mine whom I've been so dreading to see & hangout with...as she's pretty busy all the time...so having the chance to meet her, I'd certainly would look forward too...

We chit chat about things that we usually talked about last time...I always have a nice & a great sense of calmness when talking to her...it was easy going, relax conversation...

She advices me on some things which are happening in my life right now...catching up la sort of...I dunno why but I always listen to her... :-) She kept reminding me about my priority in life...advicing to feel good about myself, & wants me to focus on myself first b4 anyone else...& she constantly remind me d importance of family...

She's someone whom I can turn to when I feel 'lost'...though she's not around all the time...her advices kinda makes me strong...it feels great to have a friend like her...

It is important to have great friends around us to keep us sane and enjoy great times with each other...and I will cherish every each memories that I have with them...

And to my fren...(u know who u r) this entry is for you...thanks so much dear! muaahhh!!


xoxo
Cilla

Issues...

I love this song...kinda suit my heart felt at the moment...





Enjoy the song!


Me & my heart

Mixed Up Feeling...

Earlier this week, I saw something that crushed my heart...I mean it..really really sad...

Why do I have to found out that way?
Why I walk on & see something that make me unable to say?
I really dunno how to react...
But only sadness that I felt...

Eeeee....I dun like this...
I'm just starting to enjoy you in my life...
But gosh! there it is...
This is confusing me...again...

May the best one wins...
But now I know how she felt...

This is just an emotion that really need to be let out b4 it kills me inside...

Hehehe...and suddenly I felt the happiness fills me today...
And I'm happy & better still, I felt coy....& simply meltz up when u're around...

I like...coz it's just the sweetest & cutest thing!


Fallen

What's Up With Names...

I've been doing alot of thinking...

Destiny, Samantha, Ariella, Arwen, Keira, Cailyn, Faith, Avery, Delilah.....- Girls

Brayden, Nathaniel, Ezekiel, Johansson, Hayden, Emmanuel, Valentine, Zachary...-Boys


Why am I looking for names???

Is this a sign??


For fun I think...

What A Week...

It's a terrible week for me on this early year 2010...

Workload or should I say my double workload really pissing me off at work...I'm changing...hormones are too...I think I started off awfully 'silent', more 'quieter' & less hyper than usual...

With the new GST RM 50 charged per credit card, & a very 'disturbing' fact that credit card industry will be deteriorating, it really scare the hell out of me & my department as it may affect us badly...with the cancellation of cards are high, I'm thinking of finding way out of this high risk industry...credit cards!

Though my unit will be 'uploaded' with 9 massive project to 'save' our existing customer base & keep them 'entertain' with our so called attractive promo which I think will take toll out of my energy & time, I seriously thinking about quitting my job...I dunno why but damn...I really just want out of this...I'm hating my job every single day...workload jumps up like mad...expected 'return' is so far from imagination...it's not rewarding at all...

At the moment, I'm just thinking about going back to KK, 'leaving' all that I have gained here, my 'social' life, my entertainment, luxurious lifestyle....and moved back to KK now!

I missed my hometown so much....miss my bed there...miss my mum & dad, my brother & Baby Echa... ;)

I miss my cousins...my life in KK which is more calm & peaceful...but I love KL too...

At the moment, my work really giving me a headache & heartache with all the 'noises' people making fuss about banking industry...makes me wanna explode!

I have been secretly crying almost every night now...thinking about my life, my work here... ;'-(

But I'm struggling to lift my head up & try to survive this b4 I move back...




Still Kampung Girl @ Heart

Around The World...

Hahahaha....this phrase I gotta remember...

All it takes is little bit of imagination & a little drop of this 'poison ivy', you will travel 'around the world'...
Crash! Boom! Bang!

Sexy dirty dancing was the move I unable to show & see you...only a rocky, unsteady ship that I board on...& making me nausea...got almost to vomitting & feeling of bloatness & gassy...walking away & I stumble...tried to hide it by holding on the pillar...& oh no...! it's already the next morning & I wasn't lying on my bed...but ended up on ur couch...!

I learned this 2 days ago...my cousin is a one krazey gal! Next time, you won't trapped my like that anymore...


Traveller

New Year 2010! New Resolution, New Me…

It’s a New Year 2010! WoOooHooOoo!! ;)

Each & every year we celebrate this event as a new chapter of our life…most people believe in doing resolution & marking a target in their life every early of the year and later on at the end of the year they will look back to see how far they’d achieve it…

I am a one of them…believing in making resolution or target on New Year’s Day…

This year, I made some resolution in hoping that I could achieve it by end of the year or maybe advance myself…having some improvement in my life…Off course I wouldn’t list it here lah…it will jinx hehe…

But generally, I wanted to be more matured & strong person…spiritually, mentally, physically & emotionally…it all start from the inside, my own body, my mind & only we could actually see a difference…Everyone wants to be in control of their life, deciding on what’s best for them…For these few years of my life, I come to realize that I was never been genuinely proud of my life or feel like I am achieving or moving up another level…I feel like I have been concentrating to sumthing which is so unnecessary & most of d time, I ‘hear’ & see myself in the mirror crying, stressed, alone, depressed & feel ‘unpretty’…Feels like a tortured soul & mind…

I’ve became someone whom easily bad tempered, emo, judgemental, hatred & envious…It’s like I’m a ‘living demon’ trapped in an angel’s body…haha (deep self declaration)…but seriously I’m living a life with seven deadly sins…I am a sinner…I dun wanna continue this…I feel like my believe in my God was seriously fading from me…I don’t see Him around anymore…have I neglecting Him? Sometimes I feel so lost…I wanted Him take my hands & say that it will all be Okay & that He’s forever here beside me… I am a regular church goer & a believer of Jesus Christ…coz since I was a little, I was baptised, communion & confirmation as a catholic people of God…it is an obligation to go 4 mass on Sunday…& I was doing so fine that time…though life was tough for my parents but somehow we are happy together…coz of our believe that God is watching a family that prays together, stays together…and the bond that I have with them… amazing… but after being far frm them for almost 10 yrs, I become more far apart from my ‘God’, my believes & my family… I grown to be someone that I don’t wanna be…d negative part is…I honestly felt that I’m becoming a cruel person… a really bad ones…I became an emo & very sensitive person... my tough life changed me to be someone who never appreciate & value life… but now I wanted to change to a positive newly improved me…be a better person all rounder… & I certainly dun wanna rely on other people anymore…I will try to ‘fly’ on my own…it’s abt time…

One thing that a fren of mine told me…no one can change you, coz it’s all comes frm you…only you can change your ‘pathetic’ life…stop pleasing others too much as I need to please myself first…yeah, it’s true & she inspires me to change… somehow her simple statement could actually ‘snap’ me to see the reality of life..(even now, I can feel warm tears rolling down my cheek thinking of it) I made some awful mistake but I dun wanna continue regretting it & blame it on others…coz tat time I thought I’ve make the best decision for me but turn out to be a perfect disaster…

So this year, I made a promise to myself to do things that only makes me happy & to not trouble my family whom loved me to death burdened by my complicated life…so here, with a little bit of prayer, a pinch of God’s blessing, a powerful family support & a great positive motivator frens…all it takes for a recipe of peaceful, happy & wonderful life to journey… ;)

I need to ‘cleanse’ myself this New Year & free myself from disturbing mind…pyschotic issue.. ;p

When I got to spend almost 3 weeks in my hometown here somehow God granted me most valueable gift of all…the gift of time, peaceful mind, pro’s & con’s of all my decisions & most important thing is…I became more attached to my family & somehow they easily understand me…& accept me for whom I have become… I will try to throw out all the negativity inside me & transform it to something positive that could challenge me to be better…right or not? Hehehe…

New Year should start with new attitude, with positive mind…I might have not been strong enuff during the New Year celebration yesterday that trigger me to be in a bad situation…but I hope this year will be a good one for me with my biggest decision is to move back to my hometown for good…probably by middle of the yr or end of this yr…

Well…I got to start somewhere…somehow… ;)
Am I really up for it? Only time will tell…on the other hand…it’s juz another year…

Happy New Year 2010!



New Person