A Friend That I Never Had...

*This entry I kept for abt a month or so...dunno why I didn't put it...maybe there's a reason..but now...here it is*

Away from my comfort place...

During merdeka weekend, I spend few days with a friend of mine at her hometown...Actually I never went to any of my other friend's hometown before coz I know ppl will see and thought that I'm not comfortable...hehe...I'm not a type that can easily can get comfortable and easy with ppl... I am a very shy person to start with, so a long 'ice breaking' session needed...

Anyway, back to my friend, we arrive at her house in SP around sunday 4am, greeted by her loving parents and her siblings.. Just in time for sahur but I was so tired and thought that I was dreaming... I continued my sleep til around 9 am...

I went to pasartani nearby SP river with her... The way they talk, the accent, the culture, the village, the ppl...all quite different...makes me numb for a while there...but it's all good! I feel happy to get the opportunity to learn and see other ppl's culture..Her family quite big... 7 of them, one of them unable to come back for holidays so there they are...6 of them.. I think if I'm in that family... I will get headache constantly haha! I feel difficult to concentrate to any of them...not easy to remember their name even... Short memory ler... But I'm honoured to be able to get to know her family and to know her as a friend better...

This friend of mine whom I barely know yet, is a great person to hang around with, she helped me a lot to re-focus my life purpose and to enjoy the happy wonderful life I abandoned..Spending weekend at her hometown with her is amazing cos it's different as I never really been and stay at any of my friend's house with their family around...It's like seeing ur friend's life on her other side...I got to see her cook! *jarang2 can see..hehe...enjoy & loved her ikan pekasam (my new fav food)...and have berbuka puasa with her family...simply amazing...

I known this friend from a social place called the gym...
And lately getting to know her bit by bit...
We became good friends... *my part lah*

I admire her will and determination, I admire her spirit which I know I can never have that kind of thinking and strong will, She 'showed' me in some way things I can find to make myself feel better, She guides me in a way telling me that life is difficult and challenging and we've gotta be strong...

I know that even how strong we are, everyone have their vulnerable times, so does my friend...but most of d time I saw her always fine...

She never knows what difficulty I've been thru, can't really see what I have done in my past life..But nonetheless, her small gesture and some nagging to me in advicing how I should behave,
how I should learn and lead my life, makes me realize I must learn the hard way to forward my life...

But I think I have damaged my life so much to the extend I realise I have 'close' my life til I focus my eyes to one part of complicating thing only...and being comfortable in worst situation...

This friend of mine have teach me things what matured person would act...
Search and do things that I love,
Improve myself professionally, emotionally, physically, mentally and financially...
Lots of things I have to improve myself,
Somehow I hope it's easy thing to do,
Deep inside my heart,
I felt that with her existence,
I had a guidance,
I had a force within,

I sometimes felt that I had a friend who really boost me,
It's not abt anyone, Cilla...!
Now, it's about you...
That's what she said...

Sometimes I cry when she asks me if I'm ok or not...
Her kind thoughts of emails and smses...
Even this entry makes tears rolling down my cheek,Coz now I feel someone cares for me...

A friend that cares for me,

And somehow I want to be taken care of instead of me being strong all the time,
Who understand and able to see that I have my own needs...I dunno how sincere she care for me but...
But I recall her words very well...* ;)

Whatever it is, I felt so much better and happier to realize that she cares and help me on my lowliest point in my life...

And whatever it is, whether she thinks that I'm a good friend to her or not...
What matters the most is,

She had simply touch my life...
She make an impact...
She guide me alot...
She was there when I need someone to lift me up...

Even by saying nothing...
She had help me...
I do hope this friendship lasts long...coz this friendship built with trust, honesty, freedom and she's a friend who really knows how to cheer up her friends...

Just like a real friend that I never had... ;-)


*This post is for you, friend...thanks for everything... luv ya... muaaaahhh ;D*

It was the best Merdeka Weekend I have ever enjoyed*

Touched by A Friend,
Cilla